Ya Allah, jika aku jatuh cinta,
Cintakanlah aku pada seseorang yang melabuhkan cintanya pada-Mu, agar bertambah kekuatan ku untuk mencintai-Mu.

Ya Muhaimin,
Jika aku jatuh cinta, jagalah cintaku padanya agar tidak melebihi cintaku pada-Mu

Ya Allah, jika aku jatuh hati,
Izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut pada-Mu, agar tidak terjatuh aku dalam jurang cinta semu.

Ya Rabbana, jika aku jatuh hati,
Jagalah hatiku padanya agar tidak berpaling pada hati-Mu.

Ya Rabbul Izzati, jika aku rindu,
Rindukanlah aku pada seseorang yang merindui syahid di jalan-Mu.

Ya Allah, jika aku rindu,
Jagalah rinduku padanya agar tidak lalai aku merindukan syurga-Mu.

Ya Allah,
Jika aku menikmati cinta kekasih-Mu, janganlah kenikmatan itu melebihi kenikmatan indahnya bermunajat di sepertiga malam terakhirmu.

Ya Allah, jika aku jatuh hati pada kekasih-Mu,
Jangan biarkan aku tertatih dan terjatuh dalam perjalanan panjang menyeru manusia kepada-Mu.

Ya Allah, jika Kau halalkan aku merindui kekasih-Mu,
Jangan biarkan aku melampaui batas sehingga melupakan aku pada cinta hakiki dan rindu abadi hanya kepada-Mu.


Ya Allah,
Engkau mengetahui bahwa hati-hati ini telah berhimpun dalam cinta pada-Mu, telah berjumpa pada taat pada-Mu, telah bersatu dalam dakwah pada-MU, telah berpadu dalam membela syariat-Mu. Kokohkanlah ya Allah ikatannya. Kekalkanlah cintanya. Tunjukilah jalan-jalannya. Penuhilah hati-hati ini dengan nur-Mu yang tiada pernah pudar. Lapangkanlah dada-dada kami dengan limpahan keimanan kepada-Mu dan keindahan bertawakal di jalan-Mu.


Jazakallaah yaa ukhti izzah : http://izzah-sy.blog.friendster.com/

I miss you, Everything falls down on me when you’re not near.. everything goes wrong when you’re not here.
It seems like I cant make things right, even though I know how.
I’ve got my two feet to walk, but you’re the bounce of my steps.
You’re my energy that’s far.. see why I’m partially living and half-dead.

Yes I know that failure happens. After a long or short sequence of successes, we must lose. On a long nice trip, you slip and go off track. You may swing high, but you must fall down.
But what if those losses are somebody else’s… Which become big bad rocks pulling you down to fall? Things become more perfect when everyone is picking on you and putting you in a blame light spot.. harsh stare and words are cast in you.
It’s not fair.. but how should I demand for it out of the unfair world we’re living in?
I actually could just defend against them, but I’m afraid I would point my finger to someplace else. Why can’t I stand for myself?

However many thousands of miles may part between us
However much I long for you I know in my heart we each trust
That someday soon we'll find ourselves arm in arm,
That each night's moon brings us one day closer to the other's charm


Still thinking of you, my love,
still leaping at the thought of touching you.


A thousand miles or dozens of days,
Knowing always that my life you've saved;
Knowing we'll be together is my greatest thrill,
No matter how many miles between us, I'm loving you still.

(Demetz)

I met my ex couple nights ago at some cafe, unexpectedly. What happened was we starred at each other and just when i was going to say "Hi! It's me!! Wow.. How ru doing etc etc"..
She just *Woooomph*.. disappeared.

What happened to her? She must have seen my existence! (you know.. eyes contact and everything.. well, only eyes contact actually)
Did she suffer short-term memory loss syndrom like Dory* has? That she forgot the incident of how we looked at each other's eyes two seconds before?

We are grown up, we were grown up when we broke up, we even laughed at it (if i'm not mistaken, or is it another break-up? Hmmm...)
But is there a problem with me?
Of course I miss all the things we once had, and i appreciate good things! And if they're not good things, i always look at the brightside of bad things! If there is any!

Hmmm... That's too bad; i wanted to know how she's doing..
I also wanted to show her how beautiful my life has been particularly after we separated.. LOL

*Dory is Paracanthurus hepatus, commonly known as the regal tang, is an average-sized colorful reef fish belonging to the family Acanthuridae.. A popular fish in marine aquaria, it is the only member of the genus Paracanthurus. She starred the Finding Nemo movie. (Wikipedia)

My friends in college called me "gandj", the short form of "gandjar", my middle name.

Not long after, it turned out to be put in writing as "gunch".. and so now everybody calls me that name. "Gandj", but with "CH"

I never had this idea of typing my "gunch" name in google, i just thought i might found someone with the same name, or find my blog, my friendster, or something else.. but this one really shocked and surprised me!!

Oh..
My...
God...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Gunch :
1. Worst word ever. A gunch is the epitome of everything dirty and nasty. 2. A dirty c**t.

What????
AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH
(obviously my surprised expression was not as cute as Macaulay Culkin had in this photo attached)



I felt dispoiled, violated, dishonored... LOL

For your info there were people with real "gunch" names also.. a photographer, a profile in myspace.. DO THEY KNOW ABOUT THIS?

Searching the wikipedia resulted none.

Hmmm.. then i thought "Should i still use that name?"

While i was thinking.. I changed this blog url..

LOL

Lordy, don't leave me
all by myself.

So many times i'm down,
with the ground.

(In This World, MOBY)

this is one of masterpieces ever created by Moby, a technopop artist popular in late 90s. The sadness atmosphere it brings will bring u tears and touch ur heart as ur heart listens.

It is now midnight,
where i am feeling sick, cold,
tired and ached in legs,
irritated in nostrils,
burdened in mind.

lots of things,
too many things,
left uncontrolled.


But i am not alone,
God apparently shows me love.

See.. I have been friended with this unsubstantial living creature for like a month, who is living in Bandung taking magister in Biochemistry, who is a chef, a laborer, a student, a lab scientist, a writer..

If i can keep a secret, i'll be a secret admirer.. but since this "Blunt-talking and straight shooting" mode is running in my blood.. i just can't.

And there set the limit, to admiration and comfy and contigous conversation, not more than that.

Or should i just stop right here?

Ever had a nightmare which effected like living horror to you, you're trying hard to scream for help or shout a prayer but you felt like freezed?
Believe it or not, your body is virtually paralyzed during your sleep - most likely to prevent your body from acting out aspects of your dreams. According to the Wikipedia article on dreaming, “Glands begin to secrete a hormone that helps induce sleep and neurons send signals to the spinal cord which cause the body to relax and later become essentially paralyzed.”